Drew Carey

Kristin Casey • December 13, 2020

In the mid/late 90s I lived in Las Vegas and worked as a stripper at the Crazy Horse Too,

one of the city’s top three gentlemen’s clubs. Stripping had always been my happy place and the only arena I’d ever felt supremely confident in. Especially in early sobriety, it was the sole place I had any confidence at all, though what I had there I had in spades, for sure.

 

I’d been stripping for almost ten years at the time and was one of the best hustlers in the club (meaning I had a strong work ethic, not that I manipulated my customers in any way). Plus, I loved the work...or did until the customers started getting out of hand, thanks to the club’s (and industry’s) lazy, greedy management. Eventually every interaction became a physical negotiation between my body and the customer’s mouth, hands, and crotch. I certainly didn’t mind a little touching, but by 1998 when nipple sucking and digital penetration (fingering) became commonplace, and therefore expected, I knew my stripping days were numbered. I decided to work as much as I could for the rest of the year, before moving back to Austin and quitting the business for good.

 

As part of that plan, I gave myself a new nightly quota. Usually, I’d hit it by shift’s end, though some nights only after staying into the next shift by an hour or two. Even if I’d earned $999 at the end of my shift I wouldn’t leave—no matter how grueling those eight hours had been—until I’d scored that last one-dollar bill. One night I hit my quota around 8:30pm, all set to leave half an hour early when a waitress entered the dressing room and told me Drew Carey had just walked in.

 

I re-buckled my Lucite platforms, applied a fresh coat of lip-gloss, and strode back out to the main floor. I found Drew Carey alone in an out of the way spot near the back wall, ordering his first drink. Normally I hate to rush a guy, but competition could be fierce during shift change. I knew if I didn’t pounce I could lose him to a more aggressive nightshift girl, so I approached and leaned forward to ask in his ear if he’d like a little company. Drew replied sweetly that maybe later would be better, after he’d had time to settle in a bit.

 

I forget what witty sexy comeback I used to convince him otherwise—I had dozens of them—but whatever I said did the trick and he offered me a seat. Five minutes later I was on my feet again, positioned between his knees at the start of my first of several lap dances. With one swivel of my hips, before I’d removed my red bikini top or sheer hip scarf, his gaze locked on my body, his posture shifting accordingly. His entire countenance changed, just like every customer before him when I began lap dancing. It was my favorite thing about stripping—that delicious initial moment of utter surety that I had him right where I wanted him. And that he’d stay there until his wallet was empty. Not to be cocky (so to speak) but there’s a rather small handful of things I’m truly gifted at in this world and lap dancing tops the list. I knew it and for the next six songs so did comedian/actor/game show host Drew Carey.

 

At that point I took a break and sat back down to talk, finding him to be delightfully unassuming, thoughtful, and doting—not to mention generous. He’d already showered me with double what he owed for the first six dances, yet while we talked he continued passing twenties and then hundreds to me, tucking them gently into the side of my t-back, bikini, and shoe straps. That’s where the biggest bills went, in fact—all around my feet. And like any experienced stripper I took that cue from him and ran with it. During my next set of dances, I made a point of positioning one foot up on his seat as often as I could, next to his leg where Drew could discreetly caress and fondle it to his heart’s content. By the fourth or fifth song my feet had become the primary focus of his attention to the exclusion of my breasts, legs, ass, etc.

 

Yep, Drew Carey has a foot fetish. One I was delighted to indulge. Not just because the cash kept coming but because (a) being the object of someone’s sexual desire and pleasure is one of the greatest joys I know, and (b) Drew Carey was simply the sweetest, coolest, least entitled by far customer I’d come across in ages. After my second set of dances, I again took a rest, giving Drew a chance to sweep his gaze across the room and spy another dancer—a beautiful, graceful nightshift girl I’d never seen before, and a former ballerina, we discovered, after I called her over at his request.

 

Next thing I knew we were doing a few “double trouble” dances, but by the third one I could see his attentions had mostly shifted her way. I was fine with that, having worked nine hours straight by then. I bid them goodnight and headed back to the dressing room counting my new wad of twenties and hundreds, well past my self-imposed $1,000 nightly quota.

[As an aside, at the time I was fully aware that Drew Carey was friends with my ex-fiancé, Joe Walsh. And while I briefly considered dropping his name into the conversation between dances while we talked, in the end I decided not to. Because what happens between strippers and their customers sometimes is more fun, sexy, and glamorous than anything even rock stars like Joe get up to.]

By Kristin Casey April 21, 2025
In my new book Casey Dancer I write about my year long relationship in 2007 with a man named Lalo, a recently reformed drug dealer, drug user, problem drinker, and big time player. He was both a guy's guy and a big time ladies man. All the ladies loved my Lalo! And with good reason, as he was very cool, sexy, funny, charming (in an authentic way) and incredible in bed. What he wasn't was much of a philosopher or particularly psychologically astute. His emotional IQ was average at best, but one time he said something that really resonated...a sociological observation that to this day I find as profoundly true as anything I've ever heard: "Honey," he said. "The entire fucking world runs on two things: the pink and the green. They are all anyone really cares about or will lift a finger to obtain." He was referring to pussy and cash, of course. Sex and money, or in broader terms, love and power (since money and power pretty much go hand in hand). Lalo never had much of the latter, though, hot as he was, he rarely had to work hard for the former. And if you read my book you'll see I not only busted my ass for as much "green" as I could earn for us both, I rarely hesitated to provide him with as much "pink" as I had to give on a daily basis. (Spoiler alert: that ridiculous imbalance of effort was wholly unsustainable and ensured that Lalo and I were never going to last.) All that being said, I only bring it up now because, last week, the fantastic marketing team I hired to build my new website suggested a pink and green color scheme and I couldn't be more delighted by the coincidence. Hope you enjoy the site! Be sure to click "LEARN MORE" on the Homepage to purchase either of my books online today.
By Kristin Casey March 31, 2021
Full Stop.
By Kristin Casey September 23, 2020
Shortly after my book came out in 2018, I was approached by a fellow writer who asked if he could interview me as research for his next book (on a somewhat similar topic to ROCK MONSTER). Today I stumbled across our Q & A and this exchange in particular stood out to me. The strong intuition you had of a fate connection with Joe from just hearing his voice on the radio is very compelling. From the long perspective, do you think artists and muses are drawn together by destiny? Do you believe fate maps a person’s life. Do you follow astrology or numerology? Do you believe in the Eastern notion of spirit destiny and reincarnation? I tend to think that some events are fated, meaning unchangeable from birth. But also, that we manifest much of our own destiny. Maybe I was fated to meet and fall in love with Joe (I don’t really know), but if so, our toxic relationship was a manifestation of our own doing. I think muses and artists are generally more attuned to subtle energetic frequencies (it’s been studied in musicians, actually), so maybe they feel a sense of kismet more readily…? The average civilian living a conventional milquetoast life maybe doesn’t recognize romantic destiny the way a poet and his muse might. The muses I’ve known had an abiding longing to find their counterpart. I think longing is powerful and that it facilitates manifesting. Of course, artists experience longing too, since an inspirational muse is crucial to keep from being mired in performance anxiety or fan expectations. Self-identity is a powerful thing. When it’s on the line your antenna is always attuned to finding what it needs. When these two halves finally meet, they’re like magnets. It feels like becoming whole, right? Like “destiny.” I’ve had my numerology chart done twice, both by women who had numerology in their lineage (their mothers and grandmothers, etc., were numerologists). Both insisted on doing it free and were bizarrely spot on (I still have one; it’s 11 pages long.) I read Rob Brezsny’s weekly horoscope and am a fan of the Secret Language research. (I don’t necessarily think a person’s birthdate determines who they are, but maybe who you are [going to be] determines your birthdate.) I believe karma is less “you get what you give” than you get what you think, feel, believe (yet again with the manifesting). Now, reincarnation…hmmm. Well, if time doesn’t really exist and all things are happening at once, then all possibilities exist and what we focus on is what we experience. So maybe reincarnation is just a manifestation of quantum physics. As for my car radio experience, maybe I time traveled into my future for a millisecond and came back with a taste of the heartache I was destined to later experience. Elite baseball players swing at fastballs before they’re actually thrown. There is more to life than meets the eye… I believe this to my soul.
By Kristin Casey June 17, 2020
I want to make clear that by "porn reliant" I'm not referring to "porn addiction."
By Kristin Casey April 14, 2020
The following is my review of the recently released John Entwistle biography, THE OX.
By Kristin Casey June 12, 2019
In the years we were together Joe made a few appearances on Late Night With David Letterman.
By Kristin Casey May 21, 2019
Once, in the early 90s, Joe called his old friend Chrissie Hynde. I was in the room and heard him ask What’s up, whatcha doin’? before pausing, and then laughing loudly at her answer. After they hung up I asked what she’d said that was so funny. He replied in his best ‘ultra cool / super chill’ Chrissie Hynde voice: Smokin’ a doob. I’m not sure why we both found that so funny, but we did and I kinda still do.
By Kristin Casey March 13, 2019
In February 2019, I was offered full certification by the International Professional Surrogates Association (IPSA), the organization under which I trained and successfully completed a two-year internship in July 2018. I declined the offer for several reasons, none based on the quality of training or effectiveness of their niche form of sex therapy. I met every certification requirement, including the following, the successful completion of their 100-hour didactic and experiential training course a two-year supervised internship (with a 20-year IPSA veteran mentor) 100% positive reviews and across the board recommendations from every licensed therapist I worked with In the end I decided to part ways with IPSA altogether. Having worked independently as a sacred intimate since 1985 (the year I turned 18) I didn’t and don’t feel the need to align my practice with their entity. Our differing perspectives on administrative style and parameters of professionalism made the break necessary. Due to the nature of this work, IPSA certification is ultimately a formality at best. Their surrogate partners work as independently and unsupervised as nonaffiliated SPs, and the designation itself is neither state sanctioned nor recognized by any legal, medical, or accredited academic body. My personal standards of ethics, education, knowledge, experience, ability, and integrity are at least as high as those of the organization that trained and mentored me. I’m grateful for their two years of guidance and support on my 30+ year journey of sexual healing through sacred intimacy. 
By Kristin Casey June 23, 2018
I take no issue with AA’s 11th tradition, other than with the way it’s interpreted and applied. The literature is clear. When the founders wrote the 11th Tradition—AA’s policy of “attraction rather than promotion”—they were referring to self -promotion. As for promoting AA , Bill, Bob, and the gang were all for it. Bill Wilson was AA’s cofounder and primary author of the Big Book. From the beginning, AA was his career—writing on, speaking about, and promoting the organization from its inception onward until he died (at which time his Big Book royalties transferred to his wife and one of his mistresses). While he usually went by Bill W. in the press, his full name occasionally appeared in magazines, newspapers, and medical journals (as did, it’s worth noting, not infrequent mentions of an honorary Yale degree Bill was reportedly too humble to accept). If AA had a figurehead, Bill W. was it. What he feared was anyone else acting as spokesperson—and rightfully so. Newly sober drunks are a self-loathing lot (some long-term sober folk, too) always with one eye open for means to inflate a battered image or restore a reputation. Their propensity for grandstanding was real, risking infighting and the muddying of AA’s message. Bill Wilson knew this. He may’ve been an egotistical, chain-smoking, serial-cheater and chronically depressed ex-drunk, but the man was no fool. Page 48 of AA’s original Charter emphasizes the vigilance and skill he and the other founders deemed necessary in the “pursuit of positive publicity.” AA’s main concern was of individual members “trying to use the AA name for their own personal purposes.” The founders predicted (correctly) “temptation to misuse the growing recognition of AA” by its members for ego-driven self-promotion. We know from Bill’s writings that he fought this demon too. The implication of Tradition 11 is obvious: that anyone associated with AA would automatically be seen in a positive light , gazed upon with reverence even. What did not seem to occur to the founders was that members might someday have other valid reasons to attach their full names to their AA experience. Blogs didn’t exist back then, and if addiction memoirs did they weren’t included in Tradition 11’s prohibited media. It doesn’t seem as if Bill and the boys considered that AA’s image and reputation would itself need boosting someday. (All due respect to the founders, whose ego is really at play here ?) But that was then and this is now. And while I won’t go so far as to say the tradition should be revised, I will say that in many cases, it simply doesn’t apply—at least not in its original context. Back then AA was new, shiny, and effective in a way nothing else was and therefore exceedingly precious. Back then, anyone associated with AA was regarded highly. That is simply not the case anymore. Those waters are muddy as hell now. As an organization, AA is controversial. More unfortunate is that it’s taken down the reputation of the program along with it, and the organization of AA and The Program of AA are entirely separate things. The organization of AA is a worldwide movement, started eighty years ago when two regular human men molded a handful of timeless principals (willingness, honesty, accountability, restitution, mindfulness, service, etc.) into a simplified numbered list. In doing so, they invented a highly effective type of behavioral therapy targeted specifically to hardcore alcoholics. They then offered to teach this “simple program” to anyone who needed it— the vast majority of whom experienced full recovery. As a community these “members” made up the fellowship of AA. As years went by membership was granted to anyone who attempted the 12 steps, and then eventually to anyone who bothered to attend semi-regular meetings. Before going further, I should point out that membership in the fellowship is automatic . There is no form to sign, no pledge to take. (In fact, to avoid it one must essentially “opt out” and yet there is no form, pledge, or formal process for delisting oneself from AA either.) Nothing more is required to become a member than to show up with a desire to stop drinking. You don’t even have to stop drinking. Millions have, of course, but to call each of them an AA “member” is largely academic. In other words, it’s just plain inaccurate. In the 40s, 50s, and 60s, if you turned to AA for help, you’d be started on the steps immediately and expected to finish them four weeks later, often before you attended a single meeting. Attending meetings made you a full-fledged member, at which time you’d be informed of the organization's obligatory 12 traditions. You’d be expected to adhere to these pre-made decisions about your anonymity and personal experience with AA’s unique tutelage of a set of timeless spiritual principals . I don’t know how anyone back then felt about it, but as a writer and memoirist I’m certain I would’ve laughed in their faces. How is AA entitled to limit what I’m “allowed” to share about my experience? AA may’ve developed a fresh format and punchy 12-bullet list, but they have no copyright on basic coping skills (nor on the nearly identical behavioral method they copied directly from the Oxford Group, AA’s predecessor). Most galling of all is their attempt to force this policy upon newly sober drunks—mentally ill individuals—as some kind of twisted payback for returning them to sanity. Like an invoice AA hands out after the fact versus upon the desperate drunkard’s entry. Yes, yes…I know the Traditions are suggested policies. And, for the record, I respect the spirit in which the eleventh was (supposedly) written. But times have changed, and short of demanding a signed confidentiality agreement before allowing us through the door, AA has simply no right to blur the byline on anyone’s personal sobriety story. If AA wants to claim that right, they need to collect those signatures at the door before allowing newbies inside at all. Get those forms ready, AA. I’ll wait out here on the sidewalk with millions of mentally ill devastated souls God has supposedly entrusted you with saving. Let’s get real. It’s highly unlikely anyone read my addiction memoir as some self-aggrandizing enterprise. My book is 24 chapters of wretched failure after wretched failure, followed by a single chapter in which I describe my early recovery, and exactly one page describing, in vague terms, my 12-step work. What it comes down to is intent. My intent in identifying AA as where I got sober, was to highlight the fact that in the 1990’s there were no other options for hardcore alcoholics. There was much greater stigma around the disease then, and a dearth of information on the program—two very important factors in what was, for me, a life-threatening situation. What I write has fuck-all to do with promoting AA or myself as a sober person. I’m not in the business of recovery. I don’t work in the field of addiction treatment or addiction therapy. I don’t promote myself as an addiction expert (because I’m not), nor do I write with the intention of espousing AA or their famous format beyond the (again, timeless ) life principles in them. (In fact, I have real issues with AA, both as a fellowship and organization, if none with the actual Twelve Step Program.) What’s more, violating the tradition of an organization you never officially joined may result in a form letter admonishment* from the General Service Office (GSO), which is almost funny considering any mention of my many years of AA meeting attendance—which again, by default , made me a “member”—elicits as many jeers as cheers these days. AA has brought that on themselves in many ways, not least being their ridiculous overreach that also extends to non-members. You see, another purpose of the 11th Tradition is to (attempt to) manage the general public’s perception of the program and organization (an absurdly misguided exercise if I ever heard one). What the public thinks about any one member’s “success” or “failure” with AA’s brand of therapy (because that is what The Program quite obviously is—behavioral therapy with a lot of spiritual stuff mixed in), is none of AA’s business. (Funny enough, we have a 12-Step program for codependent over-functioning. It’s called Alanon. Perhaps someone from the GSO should check it out…? I’m just saying.) AA members are human beings, which means they’re flawed, self-serving, and imperfect. Some do the program well, while others (the majority) half-heartedly or not at all. It’s not the quality of the therapy , but the effort of the patient. If the public can’t figure that out … oh well ? In the meantime, forcing individual anonymity upon millions of automatic “members” (who never technically agreed to remain anonymous) in exchange for a practical system of timeless universal principles (that even AA’s Charter states “belong to all mankind”)—makes AA looks petty, cagey, and cultish. It’s arrogant and gives AA a bad rep. Not to mention, it’s antithetical to their stated mission. What AA is best at, and should stick to, is providing space and format for discussing the steps its members take to get and stay sober. And they’re not doing that . It’s their sole mission and they’ve dropped the ball. There’s a lack of structure in the meeting rooms. Newcomers aren’t hearing about the steps, not for weeks or months on end. The longer this travesty goes on, the lower the success rate drops, until—as we’ve witnessed for years—AA’s fiercely protected image has gone straight down the toilet. Get it together GSO. Get your priorities in order. Tell individual groups that open discussion meetings don’t save lives or help real alcoholics get sober. Make a loud, strong “suggestion” that all meetings become Big Book studies and Step Studies. Explain that the fellowship is not the program . The Twelve Steps are the program, nothing more nothing less. If AA was more concerned with spreading the message of their program inside the rooms, AA wouldn’t have a PR problem outside the rooms. Instead, it would have a 75-80% success rate like it did in the beginning. I’m not saying writers (journalists, bloggers, celebrities, filmmakers, etc.) should try to improve it, or that by using our full names in the press we would have that effect. I’m saying anyone using their full name with the intent of self-promotion has got their work cut out for them. (What I mean is, they’re an idiot .) Since the cofounders’ concern was egotistical self-promotion, why not rewrite the 11th Tradition to state that simple fact? That no member should attempt to act as spokesperson. “Don’t cash in on AA’s cool rep.” How hard is that? — *This is from a form letter sent by the GSO to a journalist who wrote negatively about her experience in AA, using her full name: Second, we respectfully request that you continue to cooperate with us in maintaining the anonymity of A.A. members. The principle of anonymity is a basic tenet of our fellowship. Those who are reluctant to seek our help may overcome their fear if they are confident that their anonymity will be respected. In addition, and perhaps less understood, our tradition of anonymity acts as a restraint on A.A. members, reminding us that we are a program of principles, not personalities, and that no individual A.A. member may presume to act as a spokesman or leader of our fellowship.
By Kristin Casey June 2, 2018
CATLIKE (personal essay, 2006, written about my cat but really about trauma and fear of intimacy)
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